“Costumes on, lads!” I yelled, sitting in the garage. “It’s about to start.”

　　“Arses in seats, gentleman!” Liam exclaimed, straightening his Spock-ears. He always had to one-up me. We had agreed, homemade costumes only, but no, he had splurged on a Star Trek outfit. “T-minus five minutes to the global address. Forty years from now, your kids will ask you where you were when the sexy space elves addressed the world. This is the story that will make you a fucking legend.”

　　The aliens didn’t call themselves sexy space elves, of course. We just struggled to pronounce Khjurhnalva, so we opted for the easier version. Besides, they were all female, gorgeous and had long pointed ears. What else could we call them? Sure. It was borderline misogynistic and juvenile, but we were first years in University, studying engineering. You’d have to be insane to expect more from us.

　　“Keep your underwear on, buddy,” Rajesh said from the kitchen, over-enunciating every word as always. “What kind of mind-blasting experience would this be without snacks.”

　　I expected his flatmate, Pallav to chime in, but the tubby international student had passed out in the armchair after his one beer. His incredible levels of self-esteem never failed to amaze me. Pallav had designed his outfit around his belly and come as Jabba the Hutt.

　　Meanwhile, I had dressed as my favourite sci-fi character: Doc Brown. I wore a long white lab coat, off-white trousers, brown boots and a floral-print shirt underneath. To achieve the full-on sci-fi effect, I had cut a sheet of PVC plastic into the scientist’s iconic sunglasses from the second film and spray-painted it silver. Finally, for the iconic white wispy hair, I used aluminium foil. Liam had ridiculed my handiwork as soon as he saw it, but I didn’t care. After glueing a sheet over a brown skull-cap, I had stapled aluminium spaghetti to it. It kept its volume and crinkled when I moved, giving me the mad-scientist look I wanted.

　　While Liam continued to project his self-proclaimed alpha demeanour, I tidied my work station. None of us had a car, so we had turned the garage into a makeshift lab. I didn’t like to admit it, but I was the least talented of my little friends’ group. Pallav was at the top of his class in Electronics. Rajesh ranked similarly in Computer Science, and Liam had already started second-year modules in his Mechanical Engineering degree. Meanwhile, I was scraping by in Electrical Engineering.

　　Full disclosure: I had no interest in my degree. My parents forced me into it. I preferred writing sci-fi short stories and sketching the various weapons and devices in them. The lab acted as a safe space for us to practise the practical elements of our degree. Even though Rajesh and Pallav didn’t live in the house, they found the time to come in and build their little robots.

　　Meanwhile, I wasted my time at the desk writing and drawing. The only thing I had ever built at my workstation was a potato launcher. It sat on a shelf above, taunting my procrastinating mind. Now that I had my friends over, I felt compelled to put the sketches away and make it look like I used the space for assignments and self-study.

　　“You’re not fooling anybody, Matt,” he told me. “Why don’t you come, put your feet up. It’s going to start any second now.”

　　“Fine.” I sighed, taking a seat next to him on the couch. Our landlord had converted the one-bedroom house’s living room into a second bedroom. So we used the garage as our TV and dining room as well. “Wake up, Pallav!” I yelled, poking him with my foot. “One minute left until the broadcast starts!”

　　He sat up groggy-eyed just as Rajesh entered the garage balancing dips, drinks and an assortment of snacks on a tray. Liam chuckled as I hopped onto my feet to help him. The asshole would prefer Rajesh drop the food for the sake of a laugh. I seriously regretted moving in with the dickhead. We’d been friends throughout high school, but I didn’t realise how insufferable he was until we started living together.

　　Once the snacks were neatly laid out on the coffee table, Rajesh—in his Han Solo costume, squeezed in between Liam and me. Good. Every time, Liam opened his mouth, My urge to smack him in the back of the head got stronger.

　　“Hold on a sec, only hummus?” Of course, despite not spending a penny on the food, Liam felt the need to criticise the spread. “Where’s the guacamole and the salsa?”

　　“Shut up,” I said, rolling my eyes. Liam spun to face me, ready to argue as always. I quickly diffused the situation by pointing at the screen. “It’s starting!”

　　The timer graphic disappeared, displaying the Alvan ship, as it hovered over London. It had the classical flying saucer shape conspiracy theorists liked to go on and on about. A hexagonal hole opened on its bottom, casting a gentle golden beam on the currently empty crossing of Picadilly Circus. The Metropolitan Police had cleared the space for the beautiful alien women’s global address. A trio of gorgeous buxom beauties manifested where the light met the ground. Everyone knew the three faces. They were the Alvan people’s ambassadors, charged with conveying messages between our people and theirs.

　　The crowds held back by lines of military and police cheered as soon as the golden beam faded, leaving the trio to glow in their own glorious light. The camera panned over the masses of people crazy enough to attend the event in person. It came as no surprise that most of the attendees were men. Plenty of them had dressed up just as we had. Several costume parties had been planned around the city and bars in Soho had special deals for all groups of four that showed up as popular sci-fi figures.

　　When the lead Alva raised her hand, then everyone fell silent.

　　“Good evening, Earth,” she said, her voice sweeter than honey. “Before we get started, there is one thing that we want to make clear. You are as much our saviours as we are yours. The Khjurhnalva have not spent the last week deciding whether to help you or not for the sake of charity but because we need you as well.”

　　The Alva looked at her two beautiful companions. They both nodded, smiling gently.

　　“We wished to be more discreet about this, but both you and we are out of time. Our predictions were incorrect. We don’t have a decade before the invaders come to your planet. It will be any day now—”

　　“What?” Liam exclaimed, spitting out a wad of hummus coated tortilla chip.

　　“Shush!” Rajesh pulled him down into his seat.

　　“Our scouting drones have been monitoring the extremities of your solar system for months, but it wasn’t until earlier today that we realised that we’re looking in the wrong place.” The cheering crowd had fallen silent as the Alvan’s words sunk in. “After we sabotaged their Faster Than Light drives, we hoped they’d take much longer. Then we’d have the time to upgrade your technology and share our gifts with you, but we no longer have the luxury. They’re using ancient interdimensional passageways that shouldn’t exist.”

　　It wasn’t just the crowds, but everyone had their mouths hanging open: the police, the soldiers and us. If a close encounter with aliens wasn’t shocking enough, now they were dropping bombs on us that we had no choice but to believe.

　　“You might have noticed that there are no men among us,” the Alvan continued. “That’s because the forces coming to invade your planet infected our species with a disease that killed all our men. As a result, we need humanity’s seed to survive.”

　　My friends and I all audibly swallowed. The Alvans wanted our seed. They had hundreds of ships floating all around the solar system, each housing several million of their kind. Involuntarily celibate individuals like us couldn't hope for anything better...but didn't it all sound too good to be true?

　　“Not just any human seed will do though. We only wanted the strongest and smartest. You’ll need to survive and overcome the attackers to become worthy of mating with a Khjurhnalvan.” The men were cheering again. The police and soldiers had joined in too. The longer I stared at the screen, the odder it seemed. Considering the bombshells they had just dropped on us, the cheering was the last thing we should’ve been doing. I jumped when my friends started cheering too. Even Pallav who hated moving rose out of his chair and did a jig, celebrating the possibility of bedding an Alvan.