This is my part of the story that's so real and fresh in my mind that I can't forget until I share. I guess sharing is the best we can do.

It all started in December of 2016 , after schools closed for the longest holiday we ever get. That's the Christmas holidays, when families gather together for unending festivities.

My mother seated me down for a grown ups conversation. She started,' you are not a child anymore son. You know that with your sister in form four - senior year- you going to second year and your younger brother joining for his first year I can't manage to keep you in boarding school. You'll have to move to the mixed school near your aunt's place. I'll visit her and discuss your stay'. And with that I changed my school.

After holidays mother sent me out to aunt's and said everything had been taken care of. I didn't like the whole idea but what else could I do.

At my aunt's lived her , my two cousins and my grandma from mother's side. They were all good to me upon arrival which warmed me up a little bit. I have never visited them since I was a small boy so it wasn't surprising at all that I was new to their eyes. Other family members had visited and stayed for long time but since I was the oldest son in the family I was to stay home always.

I was given a room next to my cousin Vinny who was in campus. We stayed late nights talking and watching movies and all the stuffs. He even introduced me to seniors at my school to be hence I was at least secure- because by then school bullying was at its peak.

By start of another academic year my cousin Vinny left home and we were left with my other cousin Neema . She was a pain in the ass and difficult to deal with-as Vinny always said. But, she didn't meddle in anybody's business. She was very good in doing her thing that she was invincible. 

She was one year ahead of me and old than me. She was studying in a boarding school and so about one week she was gone. She didn't even say goodbye but I didn't care. I had a rule that 'cruelty should be treated with cruelty' and so whatever the hell she wants I was going to give her exactly that. She didn't care though so f**k it.

I reported to school next day without any idea of where I was going and what to expect. 

When I arrived to school gate I was amazed by it's buildings as they were perfect than the boarding school I attended. I thought to myself ' I can manage with that' . The school was quite. My aunt did all the paperwork and they didn't need to conduct an interview since my former school's report showed that I was average student. 

About five minutes later after arriving to administration block I saw students running back to classes which were the opposite direction. They were a three blocks building with three classes each. My guess was that they were consecutive.

To the very top was first years then second and third on floor block. That was easy to guess considering the age and level of stubbornness. They all passed looking at me that I didn't know where to fix my eyes to avoid their gaze. I saw girls which made me more uncomfortable that I could possibly be. I have studied in boy's school all my life and the most feminine people around me are my extended family members.

I was enjoying though the sight of the girls with all forms of body from slim to big ones. From dark skinned to very light skinned just like me . All running back to classes. Some were shouting, talking and just watching me. I could pay to hear what they were saying, if it was good or not. If they found me appealing or irritating. That was a strange feeling to me since I cared less of female opinions about me at all.

I thought of how great it would be to have a girlfriend or even a friend who happens to be a girl in my life. If I could manage to be cool.

I was lead by one of the teachers to the classroom in the middle of the block. I was the most nervous version of me I ever had been as we climbed up the stairs. My mind filled with all outcome I was to expect upon entering that classroom door.

Remembering that I was circumcised - which was the only thing I could give my life not to - I gave myself courage that if I survived that nothing will be too much to handle. Truth be told I wished every single day of my primary school that we migrate to the communities where it was an option. That gave me confidence enough to go through that classroom door and act naturally which I tried.