When I was little, like everyone else, I had a idol in childhood, for someone was a singer, for someone an actor, but for me, it was my aunt.

How all started?

A very easy question now, but when I was little I couldn't thought that will be my reason to end it all. I'm gonna go in the past, at the age of 6. It was the summer break, like in all the summer breaks, my favorite aunt at that time, decided to visit us, because she was my idol, I was so excited to see her, but all this joy didn't last for too long. The first thing she said to me was that I was so skinny, ugly, and that I need to gain some weight, I was sad at first, but then I started to eat all the food that was in my plate, just to be liked by her. Times goes on, I gain some kg from eating all the food, and I was proud of myself, I was convinced that my aunt will absolutely love me now, little did I know, this was my biggest mistake ever. I got to the age of 7, I was cubby, not to fat, not to skinny, but at that time I thought I was a little to skinny, so I bloated my belly and walked to my aunt, the word she said to me were like knives to my heart, she said that I was so fat, fat as pig, and that I needed to lose weight, but I couldn't cry, not there, so I cried at home, told my mom, and she just laughed and said that it's true and to not cry, I didn't knew that was the start of my depression, anxiety and my eating disorders, I was way too little, and in my family this was just some kind of seeking attention. I just endured all the bully my aunt and my family gave to me, until my aunt said some words that will haunt me for the rest of my life,, You are going to high-school, you didn't lost weight, nobody will be friends with you, nobody likes fat girls'' that was my last straw, I begin to cut myself, to take pills, all the possible thing to take away the pain. Until I was caught in 10th grade, my mom did the worst thing parents can do in that situation, take my phone. In 11th grade I was convinced that I will be a psychologist, now, I finished the 12 grade, and I know that I want to be dead.

Is this a suicide letter?

Not really, just a reminder to all the person out there, who feel the same I did, to get help, I didn't, now I'm pretty sure I'm not there anymore, don't let anyone step on you, don't let anyone leave you this miserable, I will not say that will get better, I was told that too, and I know too well that are just words. I wanted to share my story, and aware people that the jokes they say about someone may be the last straw.