She slowly turned around as the strong wind continued to make her beautiful white dress dance at the same time as her long hair.

I could feel her grip on my hand loosen until she finally let go.

Gradually she disappeared from my sight; I couldn't help but shout, "Don't leave!"

She continued to walk away while I could do nothing but watch her because I could no longer walk where I was because I felt like a rock here.

I shouted again, but even then she never came back---not even looking back at me one last time. But I kept waiting, I tried to hold back the tears that I had

wanted to release before but they just disappeared.

I believe she will come back again, I will feel her hugs again, and every day I will have the opportunity to see her again. I believed she would come, and wipe away the tears that were streaming down my face. She would say the words, "I'm here, don't worry because I'm not leaving again."

I was surprised that soon I felt hands clasped from behind me, too tight. It was as if my cold feeling was slowly disappearing. Its embrace with me tightened even more. A smile spontaneously drew on my lips, she finally came back.

I tried to open my eyes as if puffy because of the tears that they had just shed. I haven't looked back yet when I hear suppressed laughter. When I turned around, I saw a look of disgust in the morning, “Are you dreaming? I won’t leave you, babe, ‘don’t worry babe,” Limuel said, still giggling. Like a fool!

"What, babe? Have you dreamed of me again? Oh, you?" he's still teasing me.

I woke up suddenly from lying down.

I then remembered the action stars of the Philippines, such as Fernando Poe Jr., Paquito Diaz, Erap Estrada, Eddie Garcia, and the immortal Cardo.

I want to be them this time. All I want is to break the face of this friend of mine with his nonsense, at least for ten minutes.

Gradually, I also realized that he was still wrapped in a white blanket, to look like he was dressed in white. He looks like suman, fuck!

I couldn't stop laughing as I watched him crawl into every corner of the house. He could still feel every step as well as every rotation. It's as if he's being forced to sell it just to buy it because it's going to rot. What a mess!

Eventually, he folded the blanket and sat down on a chair near the window.

He was just sitting and watching somewhere. His face became serious, I don't know what silence enveloped us so I spoke to break that silence, "Why did you come here so early?"

He stood up and sat next to me, “Mister Rico talked to me last night, he said you should pay for what you borrowed from him, what you used in the past for your tuition, I guess? He said he needs to, if you can’t give it, just talk to the barangay office, ”he said directly.

I paused, "All right, please tell me I'm going to see him tomorrow or next to talk to him, I gotta go."

His face became calmer than before and he spoke again, “Well, bro, you know that person doesn’t miss anything. The other day I heard that his face was

broken again in the corner, he said he saw the one who owed him. ”

He got up and went to the kitchen. I put away my sleeping bags and went to the small table of the house. To my surprise, he handed me a plate with a cake.

"Where did that come from?" I said but he laughed again in response while chewing. "Where?" I said, again and again, he just laughed.

"It's up to you. I'll have coffee outside and eat first, you just close the door when you go home, ”I replied and I walked out.

“All right babe, come back soon. I miss you too soon, ”he said. He saw the white blanket again, he wrapped himself in the white blanket again.

“Just put that away, huh? You take care of that, it's scary that you might be gay forever, ” I said and threw a shoe at him. Then I went out and was shaken while smiling at his foolishness.

From a distance, I could smell the aroma coming from the bakery. I immediately went there and immediately met granny Marie’s smile and she said, “Twelve kababayan?” then he giggled so I laughed too.

“Yes, granny Marie. You know me very well, huh? ” then I handed over my payment, she laughed and started wrapping the kababayan in a paper bag.

While wrapping, she continued to talk, “Eh, you are the only one who buys it every day so how can I forget, the others when they just sued they will only buy it there. You were the only one who stayed here. You and my customer back then, but I guess they have forgotten my kababayan as they left this village. ”

She handed over the paper bag, “Oh, here it is, Iho. I also make sure that you have five pesos in your exchange, for your coffee,” she laughed again so you can hardly see her eyes.

Granny Marie is beautiful especially when laughing, even with her age, she is undeniably beautiful. I have been buying my breakfast from her since I was a child, so she has mastered my favorite.

“Don’t worry, granny Marie. I will never get tired of your kababayan, ” I said and said goodbye to him. I also dropped a coin into the vending machine near Aling Marie’s bakery for coffee.

I went to my favorite spot, in a chair surrounding the Narra tree. There I have breakfast every day. It was still dark all around, I had left the other kababayan and I hadn't finished my coffee when I decided to go back home.

I have arranged the clothes I will wear, a white polo that I will pair it with black pants. I picked up my towel and took a shower.

I have already prepared myself to go to work.

As I walked I thought, like me is there anyone that minding that at the length of each day why everything seems blank? Seems like nothing is changing?

Like I might have something to love to get but why does it seem vague to get but just keep on fighting?

Like I do so there is also the desire to give up but for the sole reason persists?

As I walk I saw all kinds of people, I was amused and saddened by the reality of life.

I saw different families arranging tarpaulins in each alley so that they could at least have shelter.

I saw children who were probably only eleven years old swimming in a sea of garbage to get goods to buy a few grains of rice.

I saw the elderly who even struggled with a small ledge waiting for food in front of the eateries in town to pick up the food that others were throwing away.

I have seen farmers delivering their harvest here in the city, tolerating a small percentage for having to buy canned sardines while the rich continue to be rich and have not seen us here on the fringes of society.

I saw women driven by different vehicles every day before the sky cleared, they had thick lipsticks on their faces, short dresses, and I often saw them changing kisses on the vacant lot with different men.

Sadly, they allow themselves to be abused for money, just to keep their own families alive. They have forgotten their dignity---they have forgotten that they are ladies who just deserve to receive respect

I admit that sometimes I have a hard time and I get tired every day in the flow of my life.

Every day I would wake up early to go to a coffee shop quite a distance away to at least have food as a barista. Then, I went straight to the university to study. I still feel tired at work I need to study so sometimes I get caught up in-class time. After university I would go straight to a bar, offering a piece of music as a singer or vocalist in a band. I have to deal with people wholeheartedly and regardless of all the tiredness.

Then go home. This is probably the saddest thing for people like me, the short time after the tiring day to be with the family. But when I came home, I was the only one.

It's also tiring to be alone.

I just remind myself that nothing will happen if I always think about the tiredness and sadness.

We all have stories that most people don’t know.

We all have tears that want to be released with every smile that is forced to put.

We are all tired, but choose to believe that tomorrow everything will change.

I don’t know why I’m keeping on going, honestly. But there’s one reason I don’t know but I’m sure it means too much to me so I keep going.

I didn’t realize that coming home from the bar I was able to fall asleep right away.

My tomorrow is just like yesterday. Just over and over again.

I was on my way to work at the coffee shop when I saw a woman from afar.

Here my full attention was put as it walked closer and closer to me. And as it approached I saw a familiar woman smiling at me.

It was Elisse.