Prologue

n the ring a fighter is only focused on one thing. Winning. But this boxer has got more than one ring and more than one goal to think about. 

She's so painstakingly far from me. 

That's my only thought and it shouldn't be. I'm on my side of the ring, bouncing up and down on my toes to keep up my energy. I glared down at my enemy, his eyes were dark and he was short but he was built as hell. 

I wonder if she's watching. 

My opponent swung, I ducked and struck his stomach. We knocked apart and I let out a growl. My temper heating my rage. My emotions were all out of whack. The lonely, the rage, the longing were all so heightened. 

Does she miss me?

Fucking focus.  I hissed to myself. I stepped forward and lunged outward, taking in my new training and putting it to practice. It payed off. The man stumbled backwards and hit the ropes. I crossed the ring in two long strides and went for his face, my gloves coming in contact with the skin of his cheeks and his nose repeatedly. His lip began to bleed and his skin began to bruise but it wasn't enough. The bell ringing stopped me, I stepped back a foot and watched him slide down the ropes towards the floor. His men crowded him quickly and I could feel Matt's hand on my arm, trying to pull me back. I growled and shrugged him off. We weren't exactly on good terms. 

I'm supposed to be home today. 

Matt promised me a few days off this week so I planned to surprise Cryssy and come home but things changed and I was stuck for who know's how long. I sat on the metal chair in my corner and tuned out the yelling of those around me. I let my mind focus on the crowd, my eyes scanning like they did every night, looking, searching but never finding what I needed. When the bell rang again I heaved myself up again. My target looked angrier this time but it wouldn't change the fact that I'd beat him. I always won. Losing wasn't an option. Whether it be in the ring or the person I love. 

I'd get back to her. Some how.

"Focus!" Matt screamed. I grunted, shook my head and glared ahead. I had a job to do. 

I closed the car door and crossed my arms over the top of the steering wheel, letting my forehead drop onto my arms and sighing deeply. The car still smelt a bit like Harry and helped to calm me but that was getting harder and harder as time passed. We haven't talked in 2 weeks. His schedule and mine were just too far off from each other and I was going through withdrawls. I struggled to make sure no one noticed though. Everyone thinks I'm fine but I feel like a part of me is missing. 

Something heavy settled in my gut as my mind brought back images of curly hair and green eyes. A dimpled smile was like a punch in the gut. I didn't even know if he was okay anymore. I missed his last fight on TV and there wouldn't be another for a few days. I just wanted him to fucking call me. I never wanted to be that clingy girlfriend but he was so fucking far from me. I had a right didn't I?

A knock on my window made me jump and nearly piss myself. I glared at Liam who smiled cheekily at me through the window. I rolled my eyes and put the window down. "Hey love, you alright?" 

"Yeah yeah, just tired. Why the fuck did you scare me like that?"

"Well I would have opened the door but i was afraid you'd punch me in the face." he laughed.

"Good choice" I nodded, taking in the fact that he was dressed in his football jersey. "got a game?"  I guessed. Liam nodded, a childish grin plastered on his face. 

"Yup! First one of the season, tonight at 7" he recited as if he'd been saying it all day and by how excited he seemed I'm sure he had been. "You coming?"

"'Course" I smiled. 

"Great! Everyone else will be there too! I'll see you in a few hours then?" 

I gave Liam a nod and he bid farewell before running off to one of his other friends who was walking through the lot not far off. I let out a little groan and put Harry's car in reverse. I'd probably go to Harry's house to get his mail before the game. For some reason I always found a reason to go to Harry's house. I just liked it there, it reminded me of him and I loved the feeling of it. 

The lights were off just as I left them when I arrived and a small bit of disappointment rose in my stomach even though I knew just my wishing him home wouldn't actually bring him back. After grabbing the mail and jimmying the key into the lock I went inside and dropped it onto  the table beside the door. There was a decent sized pile there now and I was sure Harry would just love looking through that pile when he got home. 

I fished out one of the beers i bought from the fridge and wandered down the hall towards Harry's bedroom. I pulled out one of his old flannels and pulled it over my own shirt replacing my fruity smell with Harry's vanilla and cologne type smell. A small settled on my lips as I fell backwards onto his bed. I pulled my phone out of my front pocket and looked through my messages. None from Harry but two from Nina and one from Lou.  

Nina: Hey chica! Coming to Li's game tonight?! 

Nina: Picking you up at 6:30 be ready weather you like it or not!

Lou

: Quit being anti-social! I better see your arse at Liam's game! much love, lou x.

I huffed out a sigh and typed out a response for each of them. I told Nina to pick me up from Harry's because I had to check his mail. When I finished I grabbed the beer from on top of the dresser and ambled back out into the living room just to collapse onto the couch again. I hit the button on one of Harry's many remotes and his record player began to play. I hummed along to Burn, one of Harry's many favorites. 

I don't remember falling asleep but I do remember waking up to knocking. Loud, unnecessary, knocking. The record had stopped some time while I was asleep so all my mind focused on was the rasping of knuckles against wood. "I'm coming!! I'm coming! Jesus Christ calm down" I groaned, flipping the lock and letting the door swing open. Nina lie behind the door, her small hands on her petite hips and a minuscule scowl framing her lips. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't disappointed, it'd be better if I just accepted the fact that Harry wouldn't be coming home for awhile. 

"Geez Cryssy you look like crap! and you smell like booze! This is so unhealthy" she scolded. I rolled my eyes and leaned against the door frame, crossing my arms in the process. 

"I only had one drink firstly, secondly I appreciate the lovin best friend." Nina frowned. 

"Cryssy you know I love you but whenever you come here you get all depressed and I hate that! You've been doing so great lately!" she sighed. "Harry will come home, just not today. You need to quit wasting your life away waiting for him. yeah?" 

"Yeah yeah." I muttered lowly. She frowned but pushed a strand of hair from my eyes and pulled me into a hug. I couldn't deny it, I really needed one. My body molded to the embrace and I snuggled into her warmth. 

"Come on lovey, let's go have some fun. I won't let you mope around." she grinned. "Just like you didn't let me when Josh and I broke up." she smiled lightly. I nodded and slipped on my shoes that were still by the front door then followed Nina out to her car. She handed me a make up bag and a brush so I got to work. I rolled up the sleeves of Harry's shirt and tied the bottom so it looked like it could have been mine just a little larger. I brushed out my hair, thankful I straightened it last night so it was nice and smooth for me now. Then I applied a bit of concealer to the bags beneath my eyes, and some eyeliner. Nina nodded in approval as we pulled into our parking space and headed towards the stadium. It wasn't very large so spotting the boys and Eleanor turned out to be an easy task. 

"Oh good, I don't have to harass you later for not coming" Louis smiled. I knew beneath it he was truly happy I came out tonight. I haven't been out in awhile. Acting in school was one thing but after those few hours its a real hassle. 

Louis pulled me into a hug and left one arm around my shoulder as I greeted everyone else. I hadn't realized how long it's actually been since I've been out with friends. Eleanor began to hover at my right side since Louis had my left, they were like parents too me sometimes but I didn't mind. 

We all took a seat on the bleachers near the front and we easily spotted Liam practicing on the field. We waved him down and the smile on his face was so bright you'd think he was a kid in a candy shop with a tons of money to blow. 

"You made it!" he grinned widely, taking my waist and hoisting me up into a bear hug. I laughed and hugged him back as tight as my arms would allow. 

"'Course I made it! Told ya I'd come didn't I?"

He grinned and nodded. "Thanks Cryssy, it really means the world you're all here" I smiled in return and nodded politely. 

"Absolutely"

"Say, I've gotta get back but we should all hang out after the game yeah?" Liam suggested. Louis bounced up at the idea. 

"That's a wonderful idea! To the bars!" he declared. 

"After the game!" Liam giggled. "What do ya say guys?" he asked, turning to the boys. 

"Sounds rad dude" Zayn agreed. 

"Totally!" Niall chimed. 

"I'm up for it" Nina smiled and El nodded in encouragement. 

"And you?" Liam questioned, his large puppy like eyes making me sigh. My eyes flickered to Louis and the others before I nodded, not wanting to be a huge disappointment to them all. 

"Sure" 

"Woohoo!" Liam cheered

He left to play after that and I didnt have to act as much as I thought I would. I forgot how genuinely happy my friends make me. Louis jokes and El's playful glares. Niall's laughter and Zayn's snide remarks on it all that are just as hilarious as Louis making a fool of himself. 

As the game ended and Liam's team won he headed off towards the locker rooms while we waited. It was only 15minutes before he returned, freshly showered and all smiles. "ready to go?!" And that was all it took before we were off. We ended up at a bar downtown. It was extremely familiar but I couldn't guess on how. It wasn't until I found myself in a familiar booth with all my friends and a drink in one hand I remembered why the sense of nostalgia was so achingly strong.