This twinned twinkle was delightful but not completely satisfying; or rather it only sharpened my appetite for other tidbits of light and shade, and I walked on in a state of raw awareness that seemed to transform the whole of my being into one big eyeball rolling in the world's socket.

Through peacocked lashes I saw the dazzling diamond reflection of the low sun on the round back of a parked automobile. To all kinds of things a vivid pictorial sense had been restored by the sponge of the thaw. Water in overlapping festoons flowed down one sloping street and turned gracefully into another. With ever so slight a note of meretricious appeal, narrow passages between buildings revealed treasures of brick and purple. I remarked for the first time the humble fluting - last echoes of grooves on the shafts of columns - ornamenting a garbage can, and I also saw the rippling upon its lid - circles diverging from a fantastically ancient center. Erect, dark-headed shapes of dead snow left by the blades of a bulldozer last Friday were lined up like rudimentary penguins along the curbs, above the brilliant vibration of live gutters.

I walked up, and I walked down, and I walked straight into a delicately dying sky, and finally the sequence of observed and observant things brought me, at my usual eating time, to a street so distant from my usual eating place that I decided to try a cafe which stood on the fringe of the town.

As I pushed the double door of the restaurant and walk inside and gaze around I saw J sitting on the corner table wearing his oversized glasses and his baggy shorts eating a cheesy burger and with a side of curly fries and my stomach start growling .

I walked up to him and told him what he is doing here ?

" Uh, forget that. Anyway, wow, I'm just surprised. "

I took off my bag pack and threw on the chair . I lowered myself down on the chair and grab a fries from the J's plate and he hit my hand to stop me from doing that .

" What ! Just only one fries !

" Oh No ! Just go get for yourself and I am not going to share with you because I am so hungry . "

" Oh God ! you will be bloated after eating all this . "

Where I was sitting I could see the entrance of the cafe and The atmosphere, so laid back, the high beaming ceilings and the eclectic décor worked wonders for the ambience. The inside area looked warm and inviting whereas the outside was surrounded by a beach, its waves and the sunlight reflecting its occasional twinkle on the calm splashes in the water. Mesmerizing!

" June , What are you looking at ?

" Nothing, you tell how is Brittany is doing ?

" You know last night she sneak out of the house again with her one of the boyfriend and God , you know how I handle everything ?

Brittany is sibling of J's and she is the popular girl in the school and everyone in school wants to be her but she have to extremely hard crush Zaydan like every girl in school .I am like brittany helper . I have done her assignment and homework . We both were best friends since childhood but when we got in high school she just change herself and made new friends . She forget about me but me and J became best friends and J is totally opposite of Brittany .

I sigh and thought at least Brittany is enjoying her life not like me . A virgin and alone, sad and depressed and Alive, but not living , safe, but not really . Happy, but dying .Truthful, but not to myself

Young, but seen too much

Nothing, and no more to be said

The only guy I love he doesn't even know I exist and I'm just a background girl for him . . . I hate my life I am awkward ,

I am insane , I am everything bad

Which exists in this world.

" Hey , june did you complete the professor miller assignment and you know we need to summit before weekend . "

" Yeah I remember , why don't you come to my house and we will work on that together . "

" Okay , I will come at 9 and why are you not getting anything for your self . "

" Sounds good and I lost my appetite and you can eat . "

I rested my forehead on the table and close my eyes to me get through this painful time .

" june , look over there !

I snapped over the and lifted my head up and ask J's where to look ? He pointed his finger towards the entrance .When I gaze up and he tooks my breath away everything , his chiseled jaw and his athletic physics . . . I finally register what he's wearing. It's a handsome skinny black pants with a shiny sheen. The pants are too short - on purpose, of course - exposing his usual pointy shoes and a pair of blue socks.

And I totally want to jump him. — he was with his friends and his dark hair waving in air . . .

" June, what are you looking ? look over behind it's Brittany . "

When i shift my gaze from him to behind I saw Brittany were coming behind him with her two girlfriend. Raven and Georgi I thought they must be following Zaydan obviously . . . . J wave his hand towards Brittany and I I saw Zaydan he walk towards the other side of the restaurant . . .

Brittany and her friends saw us and she move towards us . . . My eyes were looking zaydan where he was gone ?

" Hey , J and june what are you both doing in here ? Brittany ask us looking down at me . She look extra beautiful today , shiny nail, branded hand bag , 3 inch heels and a figure hugging dress perfect groomed hair's .

" We are having lunch and what were you doing ? said J

Brittany's friends giving me mean looks and it's makes me uncomfortable , so I thought it's better to leave . I grab my bag pack from the chair and my camera ,As I got up from the chair Brittany ask me , where are I am leaving ?

" I am going to my dad's store to help him and have to nice day to you all . " I tried to walk passed her but she blocks my way with her full figure .

" Wait ! can you brought bubble tea for us because we are so tired and it's so cold outside . "

" Okay , sure ! at least I know that she doesn't following zaydan . . . I walk towards the counter which was in the center and I order three bubble tea and one rainbow drink for myself . I paid at the cash register and I stood there until the drinks would made . My eyes were roaming around and eventually my eyes were again found him . . . He wasn't like those handsome men you see on the fashion billboards. He was handsome in a rugged way like a wood cutter with an unkept beard or a man who just finished fixing the engine of his car, wiping his oily hands over his white flannel shirt. Like a man who knows that he has starry eyes that can bring stars closer but doesn't even bother to look. —

" Mamma your drinks !

" What ! I shook my head and shift my gaze from zaydan to the worker .

" Your drinks ' he said again and brought back me from my dumb imagination . I didn't take the tray and carried the drinks into my arms because my mind doesn't function proper when I see him ? My eyes were glue on him . He was sitting with his friends on the middle table, spreading his legs and top button of his shirt open showing his bare skin . There are many things about zaydan that draws me to him , but his captivating smile takes the cake.

" June ! move fast ! I heard Brittany yelled and as I move around a little boy bumped in to me and the drinks spilled over my shirt .

" Fuck ! who brought kids to the place like this it's not a play ground . " I thought

The little boy Mom come running towards us and when she look at me.

" Oh , I am sorry for this and he just a kid . . . Keith say sorry to her . "

" Oh no , it's fine but next time you should be with him . " I said to her . My shirt start feeling sticky and I quickly excuse her and walk towards the restroom . . . .

When I reach at the restroom I saw the sign of the " OUT OF SERVICE "

" What the heck ? how am I suppose to clean this up . I can't go out like that . "

I saw man's restroom next to the female and I thought I just need to change the t-shirts only . . . I can do that quickly I know it's a bad idea but I can't go back with a stain white shirt .

I glance to my right and left side to make sure nobody was coming and then I took a sigh and pulled the handle and went inside and let me tell you it was the most disgusting place you could think of and it's smell so fucking disgusting my nostrils were burning with the smell of the piss. I immediately want to throw up but I hardly stop myself and place my bagpack on the counter and my camera.

I unzip the bag pack and take out a black t-shirts and my hands were shaking so bad and when I was getting my shirt off it got stuck into my glasses and it took me a second to take my shirt off . . .

" Finally ! thank God ! I said and reach out for the black t-shirts just then the door open and I froze like an status when he gaze upon on me . My jaw and eyes dropped to the ground and heart come to my mouth , His eyes roamed over me as his eyes going down to my bottom . I quickly make my mind and snatch the t-shirts and turn around as fast as a can .

" I am sorry, I didn't see anything . . . I swear to God ! he said into his deep voice .