Chapter 1: Bela’s Triggered Feelings

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BELA once became desperate because of love. She suffered because of love. She regretted being selfish until she learned from the past.

She thought she had already forgotten everything but when she married Raze, the love she forget from her past lover was once brought up because of her dreams—her dreams where it says that Elijah is still alive. She could feel the longing—her longing.

She was confused because of it. Weekly, she’s visiting Elijah’s grave, and sometimes, Raze doesn’t want her to go to.

One day, she told him about her dreams. Suddenly, Raze acts weird—his bipolarity is still there, they didn’t talk for days. Until, after three days, Raze surprised her with a bouquet and a candlelight dinner.

Raze is a sweet husband although sometimes, he acted weird. He doesn’t want her to utter Elijah’s name because he got jealous easily.

She reminded him that he doesn’t need to get jealous of a dead person. Elijah was long gone. He may remain in her heart but Raze was the new owner of it. She married Raze because she loves him.

Does she?

“Bela, sweetie. Glad you came,” said the old feminine voice which makes Bela turn and face the woman.

“Mama,” she uttered and approach the old lady and hugged her. “How are you?” she asked the moment she let go.

Elijah’s mom flashed a weak smile. She met Bela’s eyes. “It’s been years since I lost him. You already got married three months ago, but the wound is still fresh in here,” she said and pointed to her chest… the longing and pain can be felt in her voice.

She hugged the old lady again and caresses her back. “I feel you, Ma,” she whispered. She let go of the hug and guided the old lady to the living room and they both sat on the sofa.

“Every time I see your son, I see Elijah. He really looked like Elijah.”

“Ma…” she mumbled. “Your heart,” she consoles. Sometimes she was afraid for her Mama Carol because of hypertension. The old lady may seem okay because she recovered from paralysis but when she feels and exerts too much emotion, she’s afraid that it might lead her into a heart attack.

Her Mama Carol looked at her, held her hand and smiled, genuinely. “I know my son did cruel things to you—”

“Ma, I made him do that to me. It’s not his fault in the first place and I already forgot about it. I loved Elijah and I already forgave him.”

“If he didn’t die, is there a possibility that you give him a chance?”

She smiled and nodded. “I know I play hard to get but I just want to feel how he exerts effort to have me back—to have us back,” she paused and bite her lips to stop her tears. “B-But,” she choked, “he left.”

“And now, you have Raze,” her Mama Carol, said. “He will take good care of you.” She held Bela’s cheek and caress it, “he will love you more than—”

“I don’t know, Ma,” she shook her head and heaved a deep sigh.

The old lady frowned. “What’s wrong?”

“When we dated for almost a year, Raze is too sweet—he’s still sweet these days but I can’t feel the sincerity in there. I’m a woman, Ma. You’re a woman, we both feel if we’re still special, right?”

The old lady sighed and nodded.

“After the wedding, we flew to Paris for our honeymoon for one week but we only spend two days because he got an emergency call from work. I know he’s a businessman but that’s our special moment. We flew back—I’m sorry for opening this up but—”

“It’s fine, sweetie. I’m also your mother. Your mom knew about this, right?”

Bela shook her head. “I don’t want to tell them about it, Ma. Besides, I understand Raze, he’s devoted with his business and I’m his other half and I need to understand him.”

Her Mama Carol smiled. “You’re such a good wife, Bela. No wonder. Can I tell you a secret?”

Bela flashed a smile. “You knew I love secrets, Ma. Elijah and I used to have too many secrets when we’re young.”

The old lady laughed. “Yeah, both of you were stubborn. Anyway, will you believe me if I say that Elijah loves you from the beginning—since the day he met you at the garden?”

She frowned and she doesn’t know why her heart beats too fast. “Ma…” she mumbled.

“Come. I’ll show you his old room.” Her Mama Carol held her hand and dragged her up. “Elijah was a very secretive person,” the old lady said while they’re on their way to the second floor of Morelli’s old house.

Elijah’s mom decided to get back to their old house when Elijah died. Because Eli’s memories were on the house.

“Also, Jasmine’s mom always called me and asked my help. She wants me to talk to you to withdraw the case—”

“She deserves it, Ma. No one can change my mind. She has a mental disorder and I can’t risk my children’s life because of Jasmine.”

The old lady nodded. “I know. I also reminded Jasmine’s mom not to approach me personally. I can’t stand to see her so as Jasmine.”

“That’s a good decision, Ma. Your health is so important. That’s why don’t go out without your bodyguards, Ma,” she said.

The old lady laughed. “There’s no chance for Jasmine to get out from the isolation, sweetie. Don’t worry, she won’t harm us.”

Bela nodded and smiled.

When they stepped on the second floor of the house, they turned to the left part and her Mama Carol stopped in front of Elijah’s room where he used to stay when he’s still alive.

“He never let anyone enter his room even me or his dad or Jasmine—”

“He never let me in too,” she said and let out a soft chuckle when she reminisced for a moment.

“Indeed. And when he married you. I found out something and I was really shocked why he needs to be cruel to you in those times. When he got into the accident, I realized something,” the old lady paused and opened the door, and groped her fingers to turn on the light switch.

“I found out this,” she continued.

When Bela stepped inside the room, her eyes widened, her heart thumped fast, her body started to shake… she breaks down.