“Ah! I’m late!” I yelled and jumped out of bed and ran to the bathroom to take what I liked to call, ‘The fastest shower in history’. I’m Mellissa Olga by the way, and this is where my crazy story on how my crazy ass life turned upside down.

I was super late for my terrible, horrible and crazy ass job. I use a lot of swear words but don’t mind me, I’m sure if you were in my shoes, you’d do the same.

I lived in a pretty decent environment, grew up with pretty decent parents and a loving elder twin brother, Maximus, worked in a very decent company, B&G enterprise, to be precise, but my boss was nothing decent. Rather, he was a monster! A mad man! A donkey! Crazy ass pervert!

All he ever did was blackmail female staff to spending some ‘Private’ time with him. Totally disgusting. And that was what brought out my ugly and crazy side. At first, mum, dad and Max were totally stunned by my change of attitude, but what could I do when I had a perverted pig as a boss! Oh, no…that was bad…I shouldn’t have called him a pig, it’s an insult to all pigs!

Dylan Bantoid was a nightmare, but I made sure to mark my territory. With the street fighting, self-defense, boxing and taekwondo classes dad took Max and I to when we were young, his pot-bellied self was no match for me. My black belt isn’t meant for show you know.

Mum and Dad had tried to make me quit my job but I wasn’t ready to leave all the responsibility to my parents and elder brother. Dylan paid a satisfiable amount as salary and no matter how bad he was, as long as he didn’t try shit with me, I’d work for his money…hehehe…

Back to my tale, I was super late, and not even my hard-core cowgirl show could save me if he really wanted to sack me, at least, mum, dad and Max would be relieved if I lost my job and don’t have to see that perverted fool again.

I jumped into the shared bathroom-without checking if my twin brother was in or not-to have my quick shower, ripped off my clothes and yanked open the shower cotton. Lo and behold, Max was right there, washing the soap off his hair.

It wasn’t my first time seeing him naked, in fact, I was getting used to it. After all, we were twins, what was there to get shy or embarrassed about?

“Scoot over! I’m coming in” I said while quickly rubbing some soap on my already wet body.

“You’re the craziest girl I’ve ever met. Is that how to bath?” He asked, obviously mocking my misfortune.

“Stupid! I’m late. If they smell the coconut scented soap on me, at least they’ll think I’m clean!” I quickly explained while rinsing off the soap. I wet my hair a bit and put a little strawberry shampoo, scrubbed a bit, rinsed, and I was done!

As expected, Max was staring at me like a freak. “I’m off” I announced, brushed my teeth for a few seconds while drying my hair with a towel before running off. I didn’t fail to see Max’s amazed look. Ha! It never gets old!

Just like my bath, I rubbed lotion only where it mattered, got dressed appropriately to avoid weird glances, put on some lip gloss and heels and I was done! Due to the cold weather, I wore a black turtle neck, black pants and black heels. My long brown hair in a messy bun and a black purse to go with it. Hah! And that’s how to get ready for work in precisely seven minutes and eighteen seconds!

Mum was already having breakfast and I assumed Dad had already left. Max on the other hand was making a sandwich-which I knew was obviously mine due to the extra mayo-with a towel wrapped around his waist. There were extra dirty dishes in the sink I assumed to have been used by our bestie, Brian, and our Dad.

Did I forget to mention my brother and I looked exactly alike? His lips, eyelashes, eye, brows, even his nose was the same as mine. Our only difference was in size. He was a head taller than me, always had been and I guess always will be.

We both had deep blue eyes and long brown hair which he refused to cut. His hair wasn’t as long or girlie as mine but, at least, it was a bit past his shoulders, unlike my waist long brown hair. We both had strong looking bodies, abs and all, but luckily, I was lacking in the muscles, which was an answered prayer for me. I mean, which cute dude would want a girl with manly muscles probably bigger than his? My abs were enough of a problem as it attracted stares when either exposed or outlined, just like my heart breaker of a brother.

Never said yes to a girl before and when I thought he was gay and set him up with a cute dude, he totally panicked and said he was as straight as a ruler! Hahaha! The look on his face when he almost got groped was hilarious!

Kissed mum and waved my brother good bye before rushing off to the bus stop for the next bus but unfortunately, I missed the bus.

I had only two options, either I braced myself and run for about twenty minutes to get to work, or, I call a cab for thrice as much I could use on a bus. That thought alone nearly made me nauseous. Mum always taught us to spend money only when needed, I needed this but I had a better and cheaper way, running.