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EVEN IF YOU DON'T LOVE ME AGAIN

We are married for 8 years, after college.

Because of his long pursuing on me, I give in and finally accepted him.

On the 3rd time he proposed to me, I answered “YES” to him.

As if he won the whole universe he jumped full of joy shouting like crazy, he even got the attention of the cops who's passing by.

You never knew how thrilled and scared I feel that time, but this crazy man hug the cops who come near us and gladly exclaimed.

“Dude, you won't believe this, but I'm engaged! He is my boyfriend now! Wohooo.”

And just like that, the two cop's shake their head like my fiancée got some loose screw and left us.

He ran back to my side and carry me like in the movie's, and sure hell, I feel dizzy from that spin, he just laughed at me, put me down and kiss me soft sweet and teasing, the very first kiss we share since he started to chase me, and finally, he got me.

We seem to get along and happy, that's what I thought because he never made me feel anything except for his pure love for me.

His honest intentions, his genuine care, and true smile pasted on his lips, those innocent eyes who only see me.

The hands that never leaves me when we are always alone, in our love nest.

All I can say is that am happy and comfortable, but content is missing.

I'm not numb to say that he can't feel it.

I know, he feels that something is still missing and empty within me, that even if, how much he keeps on filling me with everything he has and all he can do, just to make up for that space, he can't.

And I can't help but feel bad about it, and guilt is wringing me to exhaustion.

I know it's wrong of me, he really loves me, and he definitely had proven it, he highly respected my family relatives and his not that possessive when it comes to my personal space.

He even let me drink all night with friends, and would come over to fetch me after the party is done.

Everyone's so envious of me because I got what they hope, they have, there was even a time when I saw with my own two eyes and heard by my ears.

How he was seduced by his lady boss, I don't know why, but, I should feel jealous and angry right?

Because my man is being harassed, but all I feel that time is nothing but emptiness, what's wrong with me? I clearly hear what he says.

“I don't have preference for women, even if my partner is a man, I feel contented, and I love him to the bone, that if he ever leaves me, I'll die, he is my life, my love, so please excuse me, my husband is still waiting for me at home.”

He doesn't know I was there all the time, when he saw me the moment he turned around, his expression change from shock to panic, and I just smile to stop him from thinking crazy things.

“It's not what you think, honey.” he tried to explain, but I cut him off, with the same used smile, I have, whenever we are together.

“I hear everything, need not worry, ok?”

That night when we arrive home, he's still unsettled, so he hug me dearly and kiss me like he was really wrong, and he wants to imprint me with these feelings he had for me.

I give in from his coquettish way of asking for skin to skin love, later all our clothes are spread everywhere, only socks remain from our naked body, I was pressed on the cold floor, just within the backdoor.

As he continued to savage my lips and pinch my two molds, earning him pleasurable moans from me, seeing our uncomfortable position he carried me to bed and completely take me whole.

Body slapping, our combined moans, his hand on my hips as he plunged deep within me hitting the spot that makes my mind blank, too deep that I can feel my intestine dancing inside, I can feel him nearing his climax so do I, and his pounding behind my back becomes uncontrollably faster, both erection, shot a lot of come.

He pressed his forehead on my bare back while we catch both of our breath.

“Honey I love you, believe me, I can never love anyone except you, you will be the death of me.”

Like a wrong child, he voiced his pledge of love on me.

The next day I woke up feeling the coldness, beside me, which is empty without his warmth, it's Saturday, and no office work, where is he?

My question where answer when the door opens and reveal the person who made love to me passionately last night.

“Breakfast on bed honey, now give me a reward.” 

I can't help but felt gave a warm smile, so this is the reason he woke so early? Did he prepare me a breakfast in bed? Again?

When he didn't get his reward he claimed it on his own and kiss me long passionately.

“I know, I've been too hard last night, so I cook to compensate my honey, have a taste baby, want me to feed you?” his acting cute again what a very loving man, no wonder they are so jealous of me because I stumbled a diamond out of million golds.

But his actions are just like a cinematic art to my naked eye, it's like his just a character that comes out of a comic, and this is only a virtual world created for him, for me.

I again feel bad about how generous he can love me, while my hesitation keeps on growing, making the space he cuts to be with me, only to be widening more.