Before you and me

Mack

People say life is glorious. You have all these moments to consider, but they’re full of shit. Life isn’t superb. It’s rough. Too many people lie to themselves, which is hysterical if you consider it.

They had all these aspirations and dreams. Then someone else destroys them. Do you get where I’m leading with this?

I try to steer clear. Who in the hell wants someone who sets out to destroy you? Of course, I’ve never been that schmuck who’s been in love. There’s too much drama.

I had that one acquaintance who assumes they know better than I do. That would be Bob Harrison, who pushes me to find someone like he’s doing today.

“Come on, Mack. Don’t you realize it’s time to settle down?”

“Aren’t you too old to whine? What? Are you? Four? What does it matter if I meet someone?” I lifted a container of dirty dishes onto the counter.

Yes, I work as a busboy trying to pay for school. Don’t judge. Most people must do the inferior man’s jobs. It was honest employment. So, why the hell do I care what people think?

“I’m saying it would help tame your wild ways.”

“What wild ways? I work and go to school. Woohoo,” I responded.

He twisted his eyes at me.

“Shouldn’t you cook something?” That meant returning to work and stopping harassing me about my personal choices.

“Bob, I need a number one and three.” Miguel placed an order on the ledge.

“Good luck. Bob worries too much about my nonexistent love life,” I quipped.

Bob folded his eyes, and Miguel chuckled.

“Mark my words. One day, you will find the one!” Bob flipped a burger.

I walked over to Miguel.

“He sure has big aspirations for you,” Miguel told me.

“I assume he’s high.”

Miguel snickered.

“Is there a reason you ladies are standing around talking?” Ian asked us.

“We were discussing your poor lifestyle choices such as that hairstyle.” I pointed at the mess on top of his head.

“There is nothing wrong with my hairstyle. Gertie finds it sexy.” Ian ran his hand against the side of his haircut.

“Is that before or after you use a gallon of oil on it?”

Ian rolled his eyes at me, causing Miguel to howl even more. “Laugh all you want, but at least I’m getting lucky.”

“That is debatable.”

“Are you still coming to the party?”

“Why?”

“Mack, you need to get out.”

“Ian, I don’t drink, and people act stupid when they do. What the hell would I do? Stand there and look like a dipshit? I don’t think so.”

“Then you won’t see Paige,” Bob said from the grill.

“You’re not helping!” I spoke.

“Oh, someone has a crush on Paige Moore,” Ian said.

I’m going to kill Bob.

“I do not have a crush on Paige Moore. Plus, she’s dating that weasel, Aaron Slade,” I said.

“Only because you haven’t made a move,” Miguel told me.

“And I’m not going to make a move.”

Aaron was a dipwad, and I had no intention of being the other guy. FML.

The bell chimed. We noticed Paige walk in with Maria, Gertie, and Ruth. Fuck me. Of all the diners in this town, she had to come here. God must hate me.

My dipwad friends looked at me.

“Don’t give me that look,” I said.

Then Ian and Miguel came into the kitchen. They threw an apron on me, shoved a notepad and pencil in my hand, and pushed me through the double doors. Assholes.

I stood there as everyone stared at me. “Take a picture. It’ll last longer.”

Everyone returned to eating.

I walked over and scribbled the girls’ orders down, then looked at Paige. “And what do you want?”

“Couldn’t you be a little nicer?” Paige asked me.

“I could if I wanted to, but today is not your day, and tomorrow isn’t looking better. Now, what do you want, Peggy?”

She glared at me. Yep, I pissed her off. She gave me her order, and I walked back into the kitchen. I handed it to Bob. Miguel and Ian had cheeky grins plastered on their faces.

“I’ll hurt both of you.”

“Yeah, but not after she hurts you.” Ian smirked.

My right eye twitched. That wasn’t how I wanted my life to go.