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DESTINY

Love defines destiny. Destiny defines love. So, don’t trust them because they both causes pain in the end.

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A moment where everyone thought it’s a usual day for them…Oh wait, I also think that this day is the same as the other day but I was wrong, I am always wrong.

I was carrying a pile of heavy books that day for a reference for my research. I was half-running because I am late for my class. You were there also, walking directly at me while talking to someone on the phone. It was too late to avoid the fate that we bumped into each other.

“Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to bump you,” you said sincerely, picking some of my books that scattered on the floor.

I sigh and said, “It’s fine. It’s also my fault ‘cause I didn’t avoid you instantly.”

After we picked my books, you held your hand in front of me and spoke, “I am Charles Roa, you are?”

“I am Yna Mage,” I said, plastering my smile sweetly. I couldn’t hold his hand because of my books and we laughed like we’re close friend.

We stared at each other like we're not students who have no class to catch up… Oh, damn my class!

“Uh… I should get going. I am super late… So, uh… see you when I see you?” He smiled and I turned my back on him. He watched as he waved his hands. I shook my head and continued running.

I was lucky that when I came in on my class my professor is the kindest of all that he didn’t bother to ask me why I am late; he didn’t even scold me nor ask why am I late? Maybe he knew that I bumped into someone, my future boyfriend, I thought and shrugged, smiling stupidly.

I took my seat, reminiscing of what happened a while ago while our professor lecturing in front.

“Oh, I’m sorry I didn’t mean to bump in you.”

Oh, God! His husky, handsome voice that was so melancholic and beautiful it makes me want to hear it all over again. His lips that he rarely bit. I think his lips look so sweet, soft and minty like some freshener on the mouth. His angelic chinky-eyes, with a color of ocean. It made my mind hypnotized of his face, voice, body, and… Oh, God, everything about him!

“Damn it!” I shouted subconsciously that I didn’t know that I’m still inside the room where my professor stopped talking when he heard me.

My professor looked at me horrifically and my classmates stared at me puzzled.

“Care to share what you’ve been thinking?” my professor asked me, raising its thin brown brows.

I looked down and whispered sincerely, “I’m sorry, Prof!”

Since I said sorry, they continued what they’re doing. Slipping the stupidity and shameless thing I’ve done earlier.

I won’t do it again. The hell with that! Damn, that man! He’s messing my mind. Uh… I can't help it, it feels like I am in love-at-first-sight with him.

And now time to go back home. I was walking going to the bus station where some students-like me-queued. And then, I remember a line that someone told me, “You laugh half a day, and the other half good luck because it will be bad luck.”

I was happy because of him, that Roa guy, but just like to the line, a rain came and it washed my smile. I let my body wet just to lessen the things I am carrying in my heart, in myself.

My thoughts were stopped when someone covered me with umbrella. I was shocked that it made my body frozen.

“You should not let yourself wet. You’ll get sick,” he said with a matter of worried voice. “Come, I’ll get you home.” He snaked his arm to my waist and carefully dragged into his car.

When I get inside on his car, everything felt so surreal. I feel so loved and scared if it’s just a dream.

ANOTHER memory with him, Charles, was added when we bumped each other again. The difference was we’re on the restaurant.

“You, again?” he asked, chuckling, “Maybe destiny really is playing on us.”

I smiled fakely because what he said absorbed on my mind. Fuck with the destiny. I don’t want love. I don’t like playing with destiny but right now, I think its playing on us.

“I think so,” I said, swiveling my eyes out of your sight.

That day we ate, we laughed, and act like we’re close; like we damn like each other. After that moment, we exchanged numbers to communicate each other easily. And that was the first time you kissed my cheek. You told me that it was just a friendly kiss but for me I think of it more than a friend.

We hang out every time we have both vacant time. People we knew everytime we see us assumes that we’re lovers but all you did was to laugh. Damn, I want to say that we’re together but I couldn’t gamble our closeness just because of that.

But the worst day came, our hang-outs faded when someone came to your life. I guess new girl of yours or old one? I’m fucking jealous.

It’s the someone that made my heart broke. Someone who drives you crazy, someone you love for years. I was stupid to think that I can replace her. And I was stupid to hope that we can be lovers by basing to the things that you’ve done to me.

I love and I am stupid to hope; hope that you would love me too.

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