Aijin came into our lives when I was still an eight-year-old, wondering why my dad didn’t live with us.

　　He looked like a porcelain doll without a blemish or a scar on his face or body. He didn’t just look like one, but he acted like one too for the first few minutes of being alone with me, at least.

　　“Your Dad is going to leave you” was the first thing he ever said to me. He didn’t blink, nor did he show any sympathy, but instead of being hurt, I just nodded. He frowns. “Why aren’t you reacting?”

　　“Because he was never ours, to begin with,” I wondered why Dad didn’t stay with us, and that was the only conclusion I ever had.

　　“I think I’d like this arrangement after all.”

　　Before I could ask him anymore about what he said, Dad came out of the room. He always dressed so formally and spotless, even after we would play for hours on end. Hair sleek back with hair products that I have no name for. He’s what people called classically beautiful with a little bit of intimidating beauty to it.

　　“Merina” His accent makes my strange name sound like a song people should know about. He squats down even with his perfectly pressed dress pants being creased. “This is Aijin, he’s going to be part of your family now, and he would protect you from everything that I won’t be able to.”

　　His large warm hand could easily break my shoulder. The roughness of it alone made my skin itch and make my hair stand on end. Dad knew a thing or two about using his hands. It didn’t occur to me then what those horrifying things could be. All I knew was that Dads are meant to leave and never stay inside the house for longer than five hours without leaving your Mom crying in her bedroom.

　　“How is he going to protect Mom and me?” I ask him. Cold blue eyes that faced mine. How terrifying it would be if he ever glared at anyone. “He’s close to being as small as me.”

　　He grins. His five o’clock shadow is the only proof that he’s human because it was messy and terribly timed. “Well, when he grows up, he’ll be a formidable man, Tesoro.”

　　I thought about it. Mulling over it in my small eight-year-old head, and for a moment, I wondered if this formidable boy would leave someday just like Dad always does. Would I be the one crying in the bedroom like Mom if he does? Nodding my head, I clutch on to the stuffed toy that my mom sewed together. It’s a strange-looking thing that stands on four legs like a dinosaur and a face like a sunflower mixed with a lion with the soft fabric around the round face. Mom always made things rather than buy us stuff.

　　She’s smart that way.

　　“I understand.”

　　He smiles. “You’ve always been a smart girl, Tesoro.”

　　Whenever he comes to visit, he’ll praise me no matter what, even if I did bad things like not brush my teeth or not do my homework. I never usually do bad things, but I do it to prove a point that he’s nothing but a shadow in our lives, a shadow that desperately wants me to love him back.

　　I didn’t know why I thought like that even though I was so young. It’s probably due to my intelligence that even my mom and teachers saw, or perhaps it’s seeing my Mom cry herself to sleep because of him.

　　I take a step back to avoid his hand touching me. I smile at him to cover up what I did and ran towards Aijin. Without looking at his face, I linked my arms with his and smiled at Aijin.

　　“Hi, Aijin, I’m Merina.” I introduce myself. One hand still clutching at the stuffed toy’s arm.

　　He looked at me then and there like I shouldn’t have existed. I see a tick on his cheek when he smiles back at me like he usually doesn’t smile at all. “Hi Merina”

　　Dad left without a goodbye. A habit he always had since I could remember, but that was the last that I ever saw of him, and I’m beyond glad that he kept it that way.

　　10 YEARS LATER

　　Present…

　　Mom, Aijin, and I moved to a small town in the middle of nowhere up north. The seasons there were just rain, cold, and snow, but if you’re fortunate, you’ll have sunlight for a few hours before it hides somewhere again with no thought about the town's desolate look. It was charming for us since we truly like the quiet that it gave, and Aijin likes running around and exploring the outside for hours on end without warning.

　　The parties held by people our age are usually a lot of drinking and debauchery that I’m not allowed to go to, and I have no urge to go. Aijin continued the act of the innocent and smart boy that we took on, but I knew what he really was when Mom wasn’t with us.

　　He’s it boy in school with a bad boy streak that both exhilarates girls and is feared by males around the area. Mom has no idea since he still comes home with straight As and worked around the town doing small jobs and fixing this vintage car in our garage.

　　On the other hand, I am the child she doesn’t really have to worry about, but she still does. The latest I’ve ever gone out is when I fell asleep outside too busy stargazing with the telescope my mom gave to me on my birthday.

　　The small cold town has only two bars, and thankfully it has a library too big for its small scale. Everyone knows about us because we’re still the newest people ever to move here. I’m thankful that the sky is great here though, this town is truly just known for ice fishing and bears roaming around from time to time.

　　“Mer,” Thomas whispers beside me.

　　I smile at him. “You really don’t have to whisper outside.”

　　He shrugs. The smell of alcohol is thick in the space between us. His scarf hanging loosely around his neck. “Ben and I put his drunk ass on the porch. You’d be able to handle him?”

　　I nod. “Yeah, I’m about to go back anyway.”

　　“Thanks, Mer, you’re a really cool sister,” He winks before trudging towards his car with the usual stoic Ben on the front passenger seat.

　　I wave at him, and he waves back.

　　I went back home with my telescope and see Aijin sitting by the door. It’s winter. It basically always winters here, and he’s wearing just one layer for heat. I put my telescope inside first, careful to not make any sound for Mom to hear from her room then went back out.

　　“Aijin,” I whisper to him. His perfect nose red due to the cold, but then again, his whole face is pink from the alcohol or could still be both. “Put your arm around me.”

　　He slurs something that I could barely understand but heavily slips his arm around my shoulders, and I drag him with me towards his room. Protecting my Mom’s feelings also includes me helping Aijin maintain his pristine image in front of her. I can’t let him sleep drunk on the porch for Mom to see.

　　It was a slow pace, but we manage to reach his room. The same navy-blue walls with the posters of world war II recruitment posters. A single bookcase on the corner and two doors for our shared bathroom and his walk-in closet. He made sure to renovate this once-old rickety house even when he was too young. He patched the holes in the roof, did the plumbing, checked the house first like he was the agent, and made sure the pipes weren’t rusted.

　　He basically chose this house when he was ten years old. Mom had no idea and had no idea either how to choose a house, so she just took that as a sign somehow. I slowly put him down on his four-poster bed. I put him down on the foot of his bed first to be free from his weight to roll his blankets down and help him under his duvet.

　　“Hey, you feeling any better?” I ask him. For some reason, he’s tanner than the other kids around town. Girls try to make it look like they’re not flocking over him most of the time.

　　He stirs and momentarily opens his eyes to meet my gaze. Brows scrunched together and forming this wrinkle between them. “You…”