ALISON

It's five o'clock in the morning. I'm waiting at the airport on the runway for my plane.

It's f*cking cold here. I pull tighter my coat on me but it doesn't help. I don't feel my fingers despite my gloves.

- When can we leave? - Uncle Jamie stands next to me with two cups of coffee. He is my father's older brother and one of my advisors.

- No idea. But I can't stand here for so much longer. Thanks. - I say as I take the coffee from him.

- Ms Wright. Mr. Wright. Sorry for the delay. We needed to do some last minute checking. You can cover your seats now. - says the stewardess nervously.

- It was the time. We are about to freeze here! - I know it's not her fault, but I get angry easily these days. The stress.

- We are really sorry for the inconvenience. Please follow me.

I can't climb up to our plane fast enough. I cover myself with a blanket on my seat. Uncle Jamie sits opposite to me.

We don't have to wait longer, our private jet starts its engine and we start our flight home. We are on our way to New York from London where we negotiated with one of our possible future partners.

As our plane reaches its traveling height, I'm already sleeping. I hate flying but I don't care now, in the last couple of months I've been constantly tired. I have too much responsibility, I still don't know how to handle it well.

I didn't want this job. I've never wanted to be CEO.

My father, the famous Philip Wright was a great leader of the company. And my brother, Peter, wanted to follow him in this position. We both studied economy, but I didn't want to deal with the business. I wanted to write, just like my parents. They somehow managed to have some time for writing great novels and they also managed to direct the big Wright Co. with my Dad as the CEO and my Mum as an advisor, marketing and PR manager. And somehow they even had time to have 4 kids, Peter, who was 2 years older than me, and my twin sisters, Katie and Bonnie, they are still only 14 years old.

So I always admired my parents, but I didn't want to follow their path. But tragedy followed tragedy in our family. Peter died in a car accident three years ago, soon after he graduated. The whole family was broken. I still miss him every day. We weren't that close, but he always had some good words for me when I needed. He was responsible, collected and organized. I don't think I have any of these qualities.

Then, about a year a ago, my father fell ill. The diagnosis wasn't good, colon cancer, early stadium. He had surgery, chemo, the best doctors took care of him but after a year he's still in bad condition.

He and Mum begged for me to take over the position. Uncle Jamie felt too old for that, he is 10 years older than Dad, already wanted to retire, Mum is good at PR but horrible at the business, and Dad only trusted in the family. I remained his only chance. I couldn't say no to him, so I started to learn. But his condition was getting worse three months ago. He couldn't leave the bed anymore. So I'm alone now with only a little experience, but with huge responsibility and huge pressure from the press, the board, everybody. They wait hungrily, when I'll make a mistake.

I would sink without the people around me, Mum, Uncle Jamie, and my assistants, Maggie and Dan. Maggie was Dad's assistant too with huge experience in organizing. She is a fifty-something old lady with zero flexibility, she can be annoying, but I need her in my life to remember everything I can't.

And Dan.... I hired him a couple of months ago. He is just 23, but he compensate his lack of experience with huge... enthusiasm.

This time I only travelled with uncle Jamie. After we arrive back to the city I go straight home to tell Dad everything. His opinion is still the most important for me. He is reading in his bed while a doctor checks on him.

- Sweety! Finally you're here! - I go to him hugging his weakened body. He was always so strong, it's so hard seeing him like this. He was losing weight, and despite he forces a smile at me I know he's in pain in every moment. His once blonde hair turned white faster with the illness which made him look even older. He was fit before the illness, he ran three times a week, and went to gym a lot. He already lost most of his muscles, he became thin and weak.

- Hi Dad! How are you today? - I try not to show how much I worry about him. I want to give him some optimism.

- No, please don't talk about me. - It means that he doesn't feel good. - Tell me about the meeting. What were they look like? How was the products?

- They were very polite, but we saw that they really want to work with us. Their products are more or less okay. Some of them, like the Estrella, which is a chocolate bar with caramel and vanilla, is premium quality. But some products were horrible. We brought many samples, they expect us to make a decision until the end of next week. Our conditions are acceptable for them. They really want to spread their products in the US.

Our company's main activity is producing importing and selling sweets, candies and chocolate, but my parents bought some other companies too, a book publishing company, a few hotels and restaurants. We kids were spending our childhood trying and testing all of the sweets the company sold. Yes, we all had problem with our weight. I could only get fit when I went to the university.

- Great. Great. I'm proud of you Sweety. - Dad seems relaxed when I tell him the news. I'm glad, I don't want him to worry. He used to be so strong, he was the strongest pillar of our family. He was the idol to all of us.

I want him to be proud of me. I'd like him to know that he can trust me with leading his company. My legacy. That's the only reason I accepted this position.

We eat a little of the samples, chatting about the options of the contract and other business things. After I'm ready to leave him to rest but he puts his hand on mine to make me stay.

- Sweety, you seem tired. You should take out a day to sleep and relax a little.

- I can't, Dad. I need to discuss with the board tomorrow and I have a tons of paperwork.

- I know, Sweety. There is always a tons of paperwork. You have to create free time to yourself or you'll burn out soon. I know you do a great job, you need to relax a little.

- If I push the break I'll fall down from the bicycle. Thanks Dad, but I'm fine. I can handle this.

- Okay, I believe you. Just don't make me worry about you.

- Okay Dad. Thanks.

I lean down and gently hug him. He feels so breakable in my arms. I leave him to have some rest and go straight to my room.

I have a flat not so far from here, but I moved back home when I took the position from Dad. I often discuss with him and with mum, so it's easier if I'm close.

I lie down on my bed. I slept during the flight yet I still feel so tired. The doctors said it's because of the stress. I hope it'll evade with time. Or Dad gets better. I still have faith that he'll survive.

Mum knocks on my door.

- Hi Mum. How are you?

She seems tired too. I'm sure she spends her nights worrying for Dad.

- Hi Alli. You haven't said hi, since you arrived.

- Sorry Mum, I'm so tired. I just quickly checked Dad. How is he? He didn't want to talk about himself.

- The doctors don't say anything either. We have to wait and see, that's all they repeat. We can't give up hope yet. He still has so many plans, he isn't ready to leave us.

- I know. I don't give up on him. I want him to survive and take back the company.

- I know how hard is this to you. We all know. And you do a great job! Dad is so proud of you and so do I. It helps him to recover that he knows that the company is in good hands.

- Thanks Mum. It means a lot that you say that. But I'm still not confident.

- You'll be more confident with time. But you'll never feel yourself completely ready. You'll question yourself over and over again. And that's good. That means that you'll always focus.

- Okay Mum.

- I leave you to have some rest. See you tomorrow.

With this I fall deeply into a dreamless sleep.