The Gray Sisters

Lex

Did you ever have a dream where everything seems peaceful, and things are significant? Yeah, I never have those dreams, not when I live with four crazy-ass sisters. Crazy? No, more like bat shit crazy.

These girls have made it their mission to make my life a living freaking nightmare. Since I’m the only guy besides Dad, who doesn’t count, I get to deal with their crazy antics while growing up. One time they dressed me up like a girl! A freaking girl!

It’s no wonder they flunked biology. My sisters couldn’t even get my gender correct.

My sisters have gotten the wild side down pat. Lyric is the oldest and take-charge. Then Larkin, whose second language is sarcasm. Lakin has a temper. Finally, you have Luna, who can’t keep her hands off the boys. Then you have me, the boy in this insane scenario.

Why couldn’t my parents have boys? At least, I had Kaiden and Kain. It’s not like they are a big help. Kaiden is too busy flirting with anything in a skirt, and Kain is too busy making fun of people. They’re Uncle Nixon’s boys.

Marshall and Murphy like to dole out punishment to us when they get a chance. Beau and Brody have sent them after us many times. Marshall and Murphy are Uncle Nathan’s boys, while Beau and Brody are Uncle Nolan’s boys.

Noel and Niall prefer to watch the antics unfold and laugh at our expense. They’re Uncle Noah’s boys.

Even though Marshall, Murphy, Noel, and Niall graduated this past year, the nine of us are only months apart. Beau and Brody are three years younger than us. Then you have us, the quints.

Sometimes, I wish I had been an only child.

“Are you yahoos ready? We have to leave in a few minutes!” I heard Dad say.

“We’re working on it, old man!” Lakin said.

“Lakin, I’ll beat your ass! Stop calling me, old man!” Dad said.

“I’d like to see you try!”

Great. Here we go again.

“Dad, why do we have to go, anyway?” Luna asked.

“Isn’t she like one hundred and fifty?” Larkin asked.

“No! She’s ninety-two! And stop talking about Grammy like she should be in the ground already!” Dad said.

I stood there, listening to them as Lyric knocked on my door. “You can’t hide forever.”

“I can try,” I said.

“Lex, you’re a Gray. Grays aren’t the shy kind.”

“Lyric, I would rather stay home.” I sighed.

“Is this because of the family, or will Piper be there?”

I cringed when she said Piper’s name. I have liked Piper forever, but I couldn’t find the nerve to tell her. Now she was dating someone I couldn’t stand.

“Lex, you need to tell Piper how you feel.”

“Tell who how they feel,” Larkin said, popping her head into my room. We said nothing when she took notice. “Fat chance of that happening. The way Lex is going, Uncle Nix will marry Piper and douche nozzle before he grows a pair.”

“Who will grow a pair?” Lakin asked as she and Luna showed up. Fantastic.

“Lex,” Larkin said.

“Lex, you need to punch out the douche nozzle and sweep Piper off her feet,” Lakin said.

“No, he needs to grab her and kiss her as his life depends on it, then…” Luna said.

“Whoa! Please keep your sick fantasies out of my life,” I said, raising my hands.

Dad came upstairs and ended up in my room. “Is this considered getting ready? No, now what the hell are you doing?” He asked.

“We’re giving Lexie poo some love advice on how to jump Piper,” Luna said with Lakin nodding.

“There won’t be jumping of any one of any kind. That goes for you too, Luna,” Dad said.

“Well, you’re no fun,” Luna said.

“I’m Dad. I don’t need to have fun unless it’s with your mother.” He smirked.

“Ew, gross!” We said, bolting out of my room. It was nasty to hear Dad talk about unholy things with Mom. No one wants to hear about their parents bumping uglies.

We ran past Mom as Dad came downstairs, chuckling. She looked at him, “Which tactic did you use this time?”

“I talked about sex with you.” He smirked.

She giggled as he pulled her into a kiss. Yeah, my parents have no shame. If they could mention sex with them in the same sentence, it would send us flying out of the room.

My uncles were worse. I swear sex consumes my family way too much.

I sat in the back of Dad’s car while my sisters rode together. I played with my lip as I stared out of the window. I knew Piper would be there since she was like a family. She came to everything and always brought her boyfriend.

Dad pulled into the bakery’s parking lot, and we got out of the cars. He was bringing the cake and other sweets to the party. We had to help him, which meant I had to drive the delivery van. At least, I get a reprieve from everyone.

We loaded the van as Kaiden and Kain pulled in. They got out and strolled over to us.

“Did your dad send you?” Dad asked them.

“Well, we can help you or listen to one of his crazy sermons,” Kain said.

“His words were, if you don’t get your asses over there and help, I will tie you up by your ankles,” Kaiden said.

Dad chuckled. “That sounds like Nix.”

“So, here we are.” Kain shrugged.

“Well, we’re almost loaded. You boys ride with Lex, and we’ll meet you there,” Dad told us. Then he turned. “Larkin, I swear to God! If you eat one more pastry, I’ll beat the living daylights out of you!”

“You must catch me first, old man!” Larkin said.

“I’ll see old man, you!” He chased Larkin.

“Is it me, or are we not supposed to hit girls?” Kain asked.

“These aren’t girls. They’re the freaking quints! They aren’t sugar and spice or nice. Remember when they shoved your head into a toilet and flushed it?” Kaiden asked Kain.

“Yeah, you don’t need to remind me.” Kain sighed. “No offense, Lex. But even the devil runs the other way when he sees your sisters coming.”

I couldn’t disagree. If my sisters weren’t female, they would seem like guys.

“So, when are you going to make a move on Piper?” Kaiden asked me.

“I’m not,” I told him.

“Why the hell not?” Kaiden asked.

“Because he’s a chickenshit, that’s why!” Lakin said.

“Piss off, Lakin!” I spoke.

“See, I told you they’re evil,” Kain said.

“Anyway, Lex, back to Piper,” Kaiden said.

“Drop it, Kaiden. She’s dating someone, and I won’t be the one that comes between them,” I told him.

“Why the hell not?” Kaiden asked me.

“Because that isn’t me,” I said.

“Man, you need to step up your game. She deserves better than that tool she’s dating,” Kain said.

“What game? He doesn’t have any! Knock, knock? Who’s there? Not Lex’s game because he doesn’t have any!” Larkin said.

“Will you shut the hell up?” I told her.

“Well, stop being a pussy, and we will!” Larkin said.

Have I told you how much I hate my sisters? They’re always busting my balls.

“Listen, you twit! We don’t have time for your bickering. Now, let’s go! Larkin, I told you to stay out of the sweets!” Dad said.

“And I told you to make me, old man!” Larkin said.

We got into our vehicles before a blood vessel exploded in Dad’s head. They pulled out, and I brought up the end.

“Lex, think about it,” Kain said to me.

“I have. Piper only sees me as a quint. When I had gotten up the courage to tell her I liked her, I saw her sucking face with that douche nozzle. Piper and I don't belong together.” I sighed.

Kain and Kaiden glanced at each other.

I had spent months trying to get up the courage to ask her out. I spent time practicing in the mirror, trying to figure out how I wanted to ask her. I finally felt confident to ask her. I walked towards her only to see Roger with his arms around her.

My heart sank. My sister is right. I don’t have a game. Whatever. It’s not like I was anything special. I’m a guy pining for a girl that had guys all over her. That sucked.